Dating can often be a confusing and nerve-wracking experience for many of us. With constantly changing trends and social norms, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to navigate the dating game. We are constantly bombarded with advice on how to “play” the game – from picking the perfect outfit to using clever pick-up lines. But what if all this strategic planning and manipulation is actually doing us more harm than good? According to psychologist Paul Eastwick, that may indeed be the case.
In a recent interview, Eastwick debunks the idea that we need cynical strategies to succeed in the dating game. He argues that instead of playing games and manipulating situations, we should rely on evidence-based strategies that align with the science of attraction.
The idea of using cynical strategies in dating is not a new one. In fact, it has been a predominant theme in popular culture for decades. From movies like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” to dating gurus preaching about the importance of playing hard to get, we have been conditioned to believe that we need to be cynical and strategic in order to win the love of our desired partner.
But Eastwick presents a different perspective. He explains that these so-called cynical strategies may have worked in the past, but they are not based on any scientific evidence and may actually hinder us from forming genuine connections with potential partners.
One of the main points that Eastwick stresses is the importance of being honest and authentic in our dating lives. According to him, people are often advised to appear aloof and not show too much interest in their potential partner. However, this kind of behavior can come across as disingenuous and can create a negative impression. In fact, studies have shown that people are naturally drawn to sincerity and honesty in a potential partner.
So instead of playing hard to get, Eastwick encourages us to be upfront and honest about our feelings. This doesn’t mean that we should be overly eager and clingy, but rather find a balance and be true to ourselves and our emotions.
Another important aspect of successful dating, according to Eastwick, is the power of connection. In today’s fast-paced world, we tend to rely heavily on superficial qualities like looks and status when choosing a potential partner. However, Eastwick’s research suggests that deep connections and compatibility play a much more significant role in building successful relationships.
In fact, studies have shown that people are more likely to fall in love with someone they have a deep connection with, rather than someone who simply meets all the requirements on their checklist. Eastwick urges us to focus on getting to know the person beyond their physical appearance and societal status, as this is what truly matters in the long run.
The idea of playing mind games and using manipulative tactics in dating can also have negative consequences on our self-esteem. It’s easy to feel insecure and inadequate when we’re constantly trying to be someone we’re not, or when our “strategies” don’t seem to be working. This can lead to a downward spiral of self-doubt, which can, in turn, hinder our ability to form genuine connections with others.
Instead, Eastwick encourages us to accept and embrace our true selves. When we are authentic and confident in our own skin, it becomes easier to attract potential partners who appreciate us for who we are rather than who we pretend to be.
So the next time you’re out there “playing” the dating game, remember that according to science, being genuine and making genuine connections is the key to finding love and forming successful relationships. Let’s ditch the cynical strategies and focus on being our true, authentic selves, and perhaps we’ll find love in unexpected ways.
